i don’t want to be here

i don't want to be here
i don't want to be there
i don't want to be anywhere
if that means i don't care
i wish i only dared
i can't tell if this is worth it
i am weighing the pro and cons
and, i am in a pit
Don't know what i should do
Don't know what i should be
Obviously i am not myself
Haven't been for years
not since i shed all those tears
i don't think i will ever be the same
For that, i am sorry, it is a shame
i had so much potential
then i forgot what was essential
i forgot who i was
feel deep in my despair
couldn't see the way out
until i saw your face
i had no doubt
you were the one 
even after all of our bouts
i did realize the damage was done
before long there wasn't any more fun
i felt the night closing in, 
there went my sun
On the surface everything was fine
these feelings began to surface,
are they mine?
i couldn't express how i felt
i am sorry
i didn't mean for this to happen,
i only wanted what i thought was best
i still can't explain everything i feel today
But i do know a few, if i may
i know i love you, with all of my heart
if you weren't here i'd have cut it out
i try to give you the best i can
i guess i'm not living up to your kind of man
it hurts me to see you like this,
please don't let that be our last kiss
i know you need more attention,
this i don't need to mention
i don't remember how i used to be,
but that's how you keep judging me.
Help me, be there, be here now.
i am weak, show me how to overcome
because i am so lame, i feel so dumb
i can't talk straight, i stutter all the time,
full sentences? Yeah right 
and i know i can't rhyme
i'm just trying to say 
Please stop thinking the opposite way
i need you more than i can say